Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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