I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
