I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
