Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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