Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
