He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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