Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Even my vagina gasped.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Boobs are out for the taking
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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