That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
