terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
where are my eyebrows?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
