I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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