what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
