Barsexuality is the new black.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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