they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
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Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
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My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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