after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
