I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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