Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
