Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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