Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
