Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
