ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
