dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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