Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize