Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Randomize
