I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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