She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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