so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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