I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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