Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
