I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
