come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
