I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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