I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
