I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
