No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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