youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
