Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I just threw up on my dentist
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
