Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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