Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
