You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
