Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Girls should come with a carfax report
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
my liver is dry heaving
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
