false alarm. still invincible.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
