just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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