butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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