I queefed so loud it echoed.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
