how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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