i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
