toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
