She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
