I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
