Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
