woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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