is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
