my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
