i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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