For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
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