Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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