I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
