u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize