Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
