Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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