He asked to "fluff my boner.."
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
