I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
