**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
