hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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