Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
