she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
