I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
