3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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